His name is John, but many of you might know him as Holy Gabana. Some may even remember him as Bo.
He gained worldwide fame at just 20 years old, but behind the fame was so much trauma and brokenness that the world didnโt see. Outwardly, he appeared successful, but it was all a reflection of what was happening inside him.
He proceeded ๐๐๐๐
I was raised by my mother and stepfather. My stepfather passed away when I was 14, and he was the only father figure I had known.
After his death, it was just my mother and me. She was working hard but became isolated, leaving me to navigate my teenage years mostly on my own.
I always had this feeling inside me, like I was meant to be somebodyโlike I was a million-dollar man. I was inspired by a social media content creator who I saw being reckless on the internet, flashing money.
I thought, “If that’s all it takesโjust being foolish to get moneyโI can do that.” So, I put my spin on it and quickly blew up. I was the next big thing.
The name Bo came from my mother. I wanted fame, but more than that, I wanted to be rich. The fastest way to reach the millions, I thought, was through the kind of entertainment I was doing.
By 20, I was known for one thing, and I thought I had to keep doing that to maintain my fame.
But despite the fame, I was dealing with deep hurt from my childhoodโparticularly the pain of not having my father in my life.
I grew up with five siblings, all of whom had their father, and I kept asking myself, “Whereโs my dad?” That feeling of abandonment stayed with me, and it showed in my behavior.
I was fighting, screamingโanyone with sense could see that something wasnโt right with me inside.
Eventually, I turned to drugs to numb that pain. It made me feel like I didnโt have to deal with the hurt, so I kept seeking that feeling. I didnโt know how else to cope.
I found myself facing a hit-and-run charge, three gun charges, and possession of narcotics. I was sentenced to five months of county time in Los Angeles.
While in jail, all I could think about was how to get my social media account back, how to regain my fame.
Then I met Joshua, my cellmate. He asked me where I was from, and I told him Jacksonville, Florida. His next question was, “Do you believe in Jesus?” I had heard the gospel before, but I was never receptive to it.
This time, though, I said, “Yes, I do. Tell me more about Him.” Joshua began teaching me the Bible, but more than that, he showed me the love of God. Slowly, my heart began to change.
I had done so much wrong and caused so much pain, yet here I was hearing about Jesus, who came into this world to die for people like me.
I started to see my life through the lens of God’s love. I didnโt deserve forgiveness, but Jesus died so that I could have it. He was willing to give it to me if I believed in Him and asked for it.
One night, I was laying on my bunk, feeling overwhelmed, and I started crying. Suddenly, the presence of God came over me. My sadness was stripped away, and I was filled with joy.
I jumped off my bunk and woke Joshua up. “Man, I was singing to Jesus, and I started crying!” I tried to explain the tears on my face, but Joshua just smiled and said, “You just had an encounter with the Holy Spirit.”
When I got out of jail, I was still focused on life, but one man plants, another waters, and God gives the increase.
My “watering” came through a friend who had a near-death experience. He was pronounced dead and came back to life, looking me in the face and saying, “John, Jesus is real.”
After hearing that and remembering all the times God had spared my life, I made the decision to live fully for Him. I was baptized and finally embraced the life that God had planned for me.
Today, God has redeemed me, restored me, and given me a new nameโHoly Gabana. It’s my mission now to share my testimony and tell people that we serve a loving, understanding God.
It doesnโt matter what mistakes weโve made, where weโre from, or what our background is. God loves us, and His plan for us is far greater than anything we could imagine for ourselves.
Seven years ago, I thought I was a million-dollar man, but the path God has laid out for me has brought me more fulfillment than I ever thought possible.
Today, I am a Christian because Iโve experienced the life-changing love of God.